Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
