Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Randomize