I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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