I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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