Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
He passed out mid-signature
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Randomize
