Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Randomize
