You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
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