so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
Randomize
