we have officially lost it.
dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
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