Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
