have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
πππ what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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