i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Randomize
