the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
Its about making memories worth repressing
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Randomize
