I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Randomize
