So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Randomize
