I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
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