I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Randomize
