i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
