i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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