how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
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