Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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