Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
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