Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
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