Pregnant stripper...not hot.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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