I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
Are we still banned from the library?
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
