She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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