im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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