My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Randomize
