I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
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