Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
