Nicole vs. Life
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
When did angry sex become our thing?
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
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