You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
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