I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Randomize
