I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
