I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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