she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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