remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Randomize
