her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
I have post one night stand depression
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