Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Randomize
