it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
Randomize
