they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
The best walk of shames are on the highway
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