I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
i think i have two assholes
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
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