I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
Maybe he injected his testicle?
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
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