There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
