was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
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