Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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