If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
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