Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
He had one of those small greek statue penises
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
COCAINE IS GR8
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
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