I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Randomize
