just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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