Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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