I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
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