About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Randomize
