All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
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