Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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