Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
